5 Ways To Lose A Man… Fast!

Written by Christian Carter |  5 Comments

Do you know how most women end up losing the man in their life?

Do you know the reason most men end up losing interest in the woman who they used to be wild about?

Do you know how to lose a man, and how to do it lightningfast?

How to lose a man is an interesting topic that there was an entire movie made aboout.

But why would you want to know about how to LOSE a man?

Well, I’m going to throw out a crazy idea for you to think about…

I’m going to suggest that you are probably already an EXPERT at losing a man.

In fact, it might just come naturally for you.

For lots of women, this seems to be the case.

But the real PROBLEM is that most women don’t UNDERSTAND why they’re so good at LOSING the man in their life.

In other words, they walk through the world screwing up one situation after another and never realize just how good they are at being bad with understanding men.

And they don’t realize that by changing just a few key things they could change their lives and their experiences with men DRAMATICALLY.

One great way to increase your success in lifeis to start REALIZING what you’re doing.

Most people call this AWARENESS.

The point being, once you actually understand what you’re doing and the results you’re helpingto create around you, you can CHANGE.

So open your mind. Listen up. Start to become more aware as I share some things you’re probably doing when it comes to men, dating, and relationships.

TYPICAL THINGS WOMEN DO WITH MEN

Try this on for size…

What happens if a man expects you to act or behave a certain way that’s “negative” and he doesn’t like… and then you show up and act this way?

Right.

Not only does he not like the way you’re being with him… but you’re also doing something else that will have him seeing you in an even worse light…

You’ll be acting very PREDICTABLE and fulfillingall of the worst expectations a man might have about you, or about women in general.

Here’s something you might not have thought about-

You, like lots of other women, are probablyacting in a ways that are often very PREDICTABLE to men.

In fact, PAINFULLY predictable.

The thing is… as humans, we do basically the same things when we get into common situations as others, and we don’t even realize it.

Predictable responses to common situations happen often enough for most people that when we get around someone new in our life… we can often guess what’s going to happen next.

Part of this serves a useful purpose for ussocially and in the way we relate and connect with each other.

But part of it works entirely AGAINST US.

Here’s why being predictable can be so badwhen it comes to men and dating…

Look at this formula:

Predictable = Boring

Boring = Emotionally Flat

Emotionally Flat = No ATTRACTION

No Attraction = No Interest or Attentionor Affection From A Man

One of the VERY BEST ways to lose a man is toact or become very PREDICTABLE.

A huge mistake women make that causes them to start acting predictable to men in negative ways is GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER or putting your life “on hold” for a man while you’re trying to makesure your relationship is working.

I’m not going to go into everything about this or how it works this second, but if you’ve dated a man seriously before… and you’ve later broken up with him, then odds are you’ve realized something like this that went on inside yourself.

The reality is that men are NOT attracted to women who aren’t living their lives in a fulfilling way.

At least not HEALTHY AND ATTRACTVE MEN who would rather have NO RELATIONSHIP and be aloneif they can’t have the right kind of relationship for them.

If you act or feel lonely or hopeless, or ifyou are waiting to share love with a man to start experiencing joy in your life, you are shooting yourself in the foot and getting in your own way in so many types of situations you can’t even see it right now.

Here are a few examples of how women act PREDICTABLE, give too much of themselves away, and make about 129 other huge mistakes with men they’ve just met or are dating:

1) Calling Him All The Time

If you like or love someone, it’s great to let them know, right?

Yes and No.

There’s a way to let a man know you love himor you’re thinking about him that will “fill his sails” and draw him even closer to you.

And…

There’s a way to let a man know you love humor you’re thinking about him that will end up making him feel like you’re “needy” and clingy and he’ll want space away from you.

It’s great if you feel so strongly for a manand you share such a great connection that you can’t wait until the next time you talk.

But even if you’re not feeling “needy” aboutwhy you call a man all the time… a man will often PERCEIVE this as a sign of INSECURITY and NEEDINESS and actually start wanting to talk to
you and be around you less and less.

It usually feels like a good idea when the urge to call a man and get in touch comes up,and you don’t want to play “games” or censor yourself.

And if a man could just open up to you, then you could talk all the time and it would feel great and do wonders for your relationship.

But the reality is that it almost NEVER works this way for HIM.

Calling a man all the time and constantly wanting to talk, and to have him talk to you is a great way to lose a man before you even have him.

And interestingly enough, it doesn’t leave aman much space to be coming towards you and GIVING to you the attention and interest that he could be if he wasn’t responding and reacting to you all the time.

Some women are so busy giving and trying tocommunicate and be close to a man that they cover up all the space, time and opportunity where a man would otherwise be giving back to them.

Of course, it takes slowing down and no acting on those little emotional and mental impulses all the time to create this kind of space…

2) Doing “Nice Things” And Favors For Him

What do lots of women do when they meet a guy that they “really like” and things are slow to come together?

Well, they get into a series of long life conversation about schools and families and jobs and 100 other everyday things that everyone has going on in their lives… only to realize that it isn’t creating ATTRACTION inside the man even though they’re sharing with each other.

He’s completely “in his own head” and not paying much attention to them.

So what do they do?

They think to themselves, “I better come up with some way to connect with him as a woman toa man. Why don’t I try and HELP HIM with some ofthe stuff he’s having a hard time with. That way I can help him out with what’s bothering him and he’ll like me and know that I like him.”

I call this the “Super-Sized Friend Approach”where a woman tries to get a man to fall for her by being a kind of “super friend”.

If you’ve ever bought a man a gift for noother reason than the sole intent of getting them to like you, then you’ve done this one. (Kind of like how some men think that if they take a woman out to an expensive dinner or buy her fancy things that this will win her love and affection)

But what does this REALLY communicate?

What does this really do for a MAN when a woman tries to help him out with his own “burdens” in life?

Does it make him start feeling ATTRACTION and LOVE for her?

Or does it do something else?

Doing this communicates a few differentsublte things:

A) That you’re his “friend”, and not a woman for him to want and desire.

Men categorize and “compartmentalize” often. And they are also very cautious when it comes to women and REJECTION. If you’re a man’s friend and you keep trying to be an even better friend to try and get him to like you… you’re only reinforcing your role as friends and you’ll makeit less and less likely that he’ll ever think or try and do anything to break the “friend barrier” with you.

B) That you don’t have the confidence or the ability to get him to spend time with you for NO REASON other than the fact that you’ll be together… and that you must not be WORTH spending time with without some kind of bribe or “incentive” for him.

C) That you have to do things in order to win his LOVE and APPROVAL for you… and that you’ll do anything including spending your precious time and energy helping him do even mundane everyday stuff in his life just so he’ll likeyou. Seeking a man’s approval by doing stuff even he wouldn’t want to do only tells a man that you don’t value yourself and your time…and so neither will he.

Doing “nice favors”, buying things for a man, or helping him out financially are all example of something that “sounds good” in the moment, and might be thoughtful and generous, but is BAD BAD BAD when it comes to dating, love, and attraction.

Money doesn’t make the man… just like money doesn’t make the woman.

And being “nice” doesn’t work either.

3) Acting Like His Girlfriend From The Beginning

What’s better than a nice, thoughtful woman who is loving and reassuring and nurturing from the very first date?

Well, to a man lots of things are better…

Like a woman that he doesn’t even know ifhe should want “logically”… but he can’t help it anyway.

Or a woman he can’t stop thinking about and can’t quite figure out.

Or a woman who is so ATTRACTIVE on a physical AND mental/emotional level that nothing else really seems to matter but wanting to be with her.

But lots of women make the huge mistake ofthinking that the way to “date” a man is really the same thing as being a good “girlfriend”.

Of course, this thought process isn’t too conscious. It’s just the way they act around a man. And it ends up ruining things before they even begin.

The man is just starting to get to know her, and if he feels a “serious relationship” starting before he’s even had time to figure out how he feels about this woman and if she’d be right for him… most of the time he’ll pull away without any explanation.

If you come on too strong too soon in terms of calling him “pet names”, or staying home on Friday and Saturday nights, or naming your kids before you know each others last names…you’ll appear just like every other predictable woman that has ever tried to figure out what a man and a relationship is all about before it even gets time to grow.

4) Telling Him How You “Feel” Too Early On

This might be one of my favorites because it feels so “right” and comes so naturally,but creates the wrong situations and dynamics with a man.

I’m starting to think that women (and often times men too in their own way) must come with a mechanism that’s wired in -that actually compels them to open their BIG FAT MOUTHS and screw things up when they’re going well with a man.

And do this in worse and worse ways the BETTER the man they’re with.

I’ll call this the “Feeling Confessor” mechanism. It is triggered by strong feelings of attraction and emotion toward an unusually attractive and great man.

I’ve talked to A LOT of attractive and desirable men in my life about their experiences with the women they’ve dated… and they all have one similar experience to share…

For some UNKNOWN and UNGODLY reason, women just seem to LOVE telling great men how they FEEL within the first couple of dates.

Maybe even within the first few hours.

As you might realize, I get a lot of emails from women…

And one of the common emails I get goes a little something like this:

“I met this incredible guy…he’s smart, interesting, successful… and everything seemed to be going well… but I wasn’t sure what he was feeling… and he acted in a way that confused me the other night… so I decided to ask him how he felt and share my feelings…and for some reason he reacted in a weird way and said that he needs some “space” and some “time to be alone”… I don’t get it….”

Again, when you do this you’re making all kinds of huge mistakes…and basically doing everything you can do to LOSE him by playing right into the very things that aren’t going to work for you,help you be your “best self”, or create the OUTCOME you’re looking for.

5) Keep Telling Him How You Feel When He Needs Space

And as if the last example wasn’t painful enough, most women usually like to use this final “nail in the coffin” technique as well…

Here’s the situation:

You’ve met a guy you really like. Maybe you’ve gone out with him a few times. Doesn’t matter.

You do all the things you can think of to SCREW IT UP, and you finally succeed.

You prove to him that you just don’t get it,that you’ll lose your composure quickly and easily and let it all out around him… and generally show him that you’re easily scared and don’t know how to handle yourself or what’s going on between you.

So he says, “I need some space” or “I need some time to myself”.

And what do most women do?

Of course. They KEEP telling the man how they feel. They keep trying to “figure it all out”. And they keep trying to understand and to feel understood.

And they do it in 100 annoying ways that only make the man want to get farther away.

The thought that most women have is, “If he only understood how I REALLY FELT ABOUT HIM, then he would see past all this and LOVE ME”.

It’s painful just typing the words.

So there you have it.

Part of the magic formula for losing a man fast. Interesting, isn’t it?

But there’s a much DEEPER message here.

The message is this:

If you don’t understand the process of how to make a man feel ATTRACTION for you, including the things to AVOID doing, then you’re not going to have success.

Not knowing how the things you’re doing and saying affect a man makes it very difficult (or impossible) to create what you want with a man.

And unfortunately, some women have a HUGE disadvantage when it comes to men and dating…

You have emotional responses to situations that take over your thinking and reasoning, and make you do all the wrong things.

It’s usually OURSELVES that best sabotage our own success in life.

Don’t let this get you down though…

The GOOD NEWS is that it does NOT have to be this way. There is a BETTER way.

If you found this particular discussion interesting, then you’re probably ready to learn the DEEPER secrets of how to be more successful with men and dating.

If you’re ready to STOP losing men faster than you can meet them, then it’s probably time for you to step up and get yourself an education about how to attract a man and KEEP him attracted.

There’s an old story that I love thinking about…

It’s about a student wandering from town to town looking for enlightenment.

At each town he asks if anyone knows of a teacher who can show him the way, but he has no luck finding what he seeks.

Finally, the student comes to a town and is told that there’s a wise teacher up on the hill,and that he should go and knock on his door.

The student goes up the hill and finds the teacher sitting at a table in his temple.

The student walks in a takes a seat at the table and asks the teacher if he knows about enlightenment.

The teacher says nothing, but puts a cup in front of the student and starts pouring tea into the cup.

The student watches as the cup starts to fill up, and then spill over onto the table.

The student then says, “Hey, stop. You’re spilling the tea.”

The teacher then says, “That cup is like you.”

The student is perplexed and doesn’t know what to say.

The teacher says again, “That cup is like you. It is already full. Before you can take anything more in, we’re going to have to empty out what’s already filling it.”

If you’re looking for quick answers or tips on how to make things work better when it comes to men, dating, and relationships… I have some for you.

But the truth is that if you’re finding yourself not only making some of the common mistakes I’m talking about… and you have some idea in the back of your mind that they are really coming from somewhere “deeper” inside you that’s the source of why you get in your own way with men… then I want to give you more than answers.

I want to help you get rid of what’s already there that isn’t working for you first.

That way, once you clear away what isn’t working and is blocking you from getting what you want… taking the right positive steps will be much much easier.

Past loves, past relationships, and past situations with men can have painful and lasting affects on you.

And if you don’t make sure to heal all the things you might be carrying from the past, it’s going to be tough to not bring those into each and every new relationship in your life.

Let me ask you…

What would this kind of growth and change in your life be worth?

What would it be worth to be able to quickly identify the things that are holding you back on a personal, social, or emotional level when it came to how you were with men or that one special man?

I’m guessing it would be worth a whole lotto you to figure all this out and to be able to grow past it all quickly and easily.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Categories : Common Dating Problems

Christian Carter is a leading advisor to women on dating, relationships, connection and love. An expert in psychology, communication and behavior, Christian Carter has developed foundational concepts that help women understand men, dating and relationships. Visit Christian's official website, by clicking here.

5 Comments

  1. Naomi says:

    I found this exactly when I needed to. Thanks.

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  2. Lindy says:

    thanx, man

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  3. Lindy says:

    Ladies, it’s true.
    Let go of playing his role as a pursuer. Don’t feel guilty about it. This is how men are designed. They are HUNTERS. Do not pretend, but seriously get busy with your own life,goals and whatever makes you FEEL good. For any man, this is ultimate ATTRACTION. Go on, let it go!
    Best wishes in life and love
    Lindy

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  4. esin says:

    you are absolutely right..thanks for giving me a new insight, i’m always treating my partners like you’d mentioned number 2..doing nice things for them never give me their attention on the contrary they just lost this!! thanks again..(sorry for language)

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  5. Julia says:

    Try training men not to be sexist hogs. You train women because we are more willing to be trained. Men are the problem. Women don’t need to walk on egg shells to keep a man.

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