Why “Dating” Is Harder For Women

Written by Christian Carter |  1 Comment

Have you ever noticed that when it comes to men and dating, things just don’t seem to be very “fair”?

Have you ever felt like men have all the “power” when it comes to love, dating, and relationships?

If so, then you’re like lots of women that I’ve met, talked to and helped over the years.

Now, I’d like to ask you something a little more personal about all of this…

Has the fact that dating just doesn’t seem “fair” or to work out for you in the end ever really frustrated you to the point where you thought about simply giving up on men and dating all together?

At least for a few months or years… until the truly right man comes along and you can know for sure he’s the right one?

And have you ever felt that feeling where as lonely and loveless as it might be to be single and without a man… it was actually EASIER and SAFER to be ALONE?

That way you wouldn’t have to risk another heartbreak with another failed relationship with a man who couldn’t measure up.

At least being alone is predictable and you know what to expect, right?

In a way being single and alone is kind of “manageable”.Especially on an emotional level.

Whereas being with a man, and all the uncertainty and pain that can come with it, just doesn’t seem worth the risk at some point.

Ever felt this way?

Well, I’m here to tell you that lots of other women end up in this “resigned” state in their love life where they decide it’s hopeless to keep trying.

If you’ve ever felt this way, or you’re feeling this way right now… then here are a few important things I want to share with you about why dating isn’t fair for you as a woman… and what you can do about it to change your LOVE and LUCK today.

First off, I want to mention that in case you haven’t been paying attention… LIFE ISN’T FAIR.

In fact, there’s little or NOTHING that really is “fair” these days.

Fairness is actually just an ideal we have in our minds that we expect to show up in our lives.

But it rarely does show up, no matter how much we believe things should be fair.

Here are a few ways that life isn’t “fair”, as it relates to men, dating and relationships:

1) A small portion of the men out there who are single and looking are actually handsome, fun,successful and spiritually and emotionallly “available”… and therefore it’s impossible for every woman who would like to meet a man like this to find one. How unfair.

2) Some women have bodies that instantly attract a lot of attention and interest from men, and some women don’t. How unfair.

3) Many women go their entire lives without ever sharing the deeper kind of lasting and fulfilling love they know is possible… and never get to have the family they want. While other women find the right man, share love that lasts, and start an amazing family from an early age. How unfair.

4) Some women have an amazing man who loves and cherishes them for their entire life. While other women can’t seem to have a relationship in their life last more than a few months or years. How unfair.

5) Some women know the secrets of creating the magical FEELING called ATTRACTION inside of a man even though they aren’t the thinnest, the youngest, the smartest, the most beautiful etc. and wind up having the love life and relationship
they always wanted as a result. While other women never figure out how ATTRACTION really works for a man. How unfair.

The point I’m trying to make is that life isn’t fair.

And more to the point, dating isn’t fair.

Sometimes a man will flirt with you, ask for your number, and seem completely taken with you…and then the next day he’ll act strange or aloof and he’ll stop calling and making plans with you.

Sometimes you can go out with a man several times, share amazing chemistry, and he’ll want to keep seeing you. And sometimes he won’t.

Sometimes you feel great and confident inside, and sometimes you don’t feel this way at all and your feelings are hard to deal with.

Now, most women don’t like the idea that when it comes to men and dating, life isn’t “fair”.

One of the things that can be most frustrating about men and dating is that all the things you’d expect, or you think SHOULD work out, rarely seem to be as straightforward and as easy as you think.

If you like a man, and he likes you, then it should be easy for you to start spending time together and grow closer.

Of course, if you’ve spent more than 30 seconds around a man then you know it’s NEVER this simple.

Unfortunately, because things aren’t so easy and PREDICTABLE with men and dating, a lot of women get upset when things don’t go their way.

They place too much MEANING on things that happen to them and responses they get from men even just after the first date.

Generally, lots of women act like life should be different when what a man actually does, doesn’t match up with what they would want him to do.

Of course, this is CRAZY.

The thing is… the more that I realized this fact that life just isn’t fair… the more that I realized 2 other incredible truths about life:

Truth #1) The fact that life isn’t “fair” is GREAT NEWS

Truth #2) Since life isn’t “fair”, you can have something EVEN BETTER than what you think might be “fair” to you or anyone like you

If life were “fair”, then you wouldn’t be able to do anything to change your personal situation or what you experience in life. You’d get what everyone else was getting.

But, the fact is you CAN change your life and what surrounds you in any area you want (including men, dating, and relationships).

And the best part is that you can not only grow and become wiser, but you can actually turn the tables around in YOUR FAVOR so that you don’t feel hopeless or uncertain about how to make things work with a man.

You can learn so much about how men think and why they do the things they do that you can actually have an ADVANTAGE when it comes to finding and creating the kind of love and relationship you want in your life.

Then instead of wishing things would be more fair when it came to your love life, you’d know that you didn’t want something “fair”… because you’d KNOW how to have a whole lot more than what’s “fair”.

Now, here’s something fascinating to think about…

If the idea that “life isn’t fair” is such great news, then why aren’t more people, or more to the point, more women thinking of the whole world of men and relationships this way?

I personally think that most women aren’t willing to do 2 things:

1) They aren’t ready to admit that it isn’t just men who don’t know what’s going on when it comes to dating and relationships… but that it’s also THEM. They don’t want to face the responsibility they have for creating everything they want in
their life. And instead, they want it to just happen for them with a man, and be easy as it’s “supposed to be”.

2) They aren’t WILLING to move past their own patterns of failure and the things they blame for not having the love they want in their life yet…and then actually invest the time and effort required to learn, grow, and become really and truly GREAT at something.

So, I’d like you to do something right now.

Take a moment, and make the decision and commitment to yourself that you’re going to TAKE ACTION in the areas of your life that you want to improve, and you’re going to do what it takes to stay on track until you get the results that you’re looking for.

Can you make that commitment to yourself?

Can you FOLLOW THROUGH on that commitment?

The most important decision you can ever make that will guarantee that you change your love life FOREVER is to COMMIT TO YOURSELF that you’re no longer going to remain in a place of worry, doubt,and uncertainty.

Commit to yourself that you’re going to figure out how to get this part of your life called men,dating, and a loving lasting relationships back on track… NO MATTER WHAT.

Have YOU made this decision yet?

If not, then make it RIGHT NOW.

The bottom line is…

Dating isn’t fair, and that’s great news.

Men don’t make a whole lot of sense. And the right man isn’t just going to walk up to you one day and make everything that you’ve been going through and struggling with in your past relationships just go away.

And sure, when you do find the right man, it can be MUCH MUCH easier when you share that deep connection and love.

But does this guarantee that things will work out and that you’ll be making all the right decisions and doing the right things with him?


So it’s time you helped yourself out.

When you turn the tables in your favor, you can create the love and relationship that other women who can’t seem to stop attracting the wrong men and keep getting hurt only dream about. Really.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Categories : Common Dating Problems

Christian Carter is a leading advisor to women on dating, relationships, connection and love. An expert in psychology, communication and behavior, Christian Carter has developed foundational concepts that help women understand men, dating and relationships. Visit Christian's official website, by clicking here.

One Comment

  1. johnny12 says:

    This article couldn’t be further from the truth. Women have all of the power in the dating game and it is unquestionably much harder to be a man. The reason being that men and women have much different priorities.

    Men require only an attractive female without significant social issues. That is it.

    Women require a man that is attractive, socially confident, and highly successful. Essentially, men are being judged based on three major criteria and women are judged by appearance. The higher a man ranks on the three major criteria determines how attractive his dates will be. The more attractive a female is determines how high up on the social ladder she can date.

    In summary, attractive women will have far and away the most success in life and dating. Highly successful attractive men are next on the totem pole. Lesser attractive women (7′s and 8′s) are next on the ladder followed by successful lesser attractive men. Unattractive successful men and moderately attrative women will have equal success followed by unattractive women.

    Very few women will be excluded from the dating pool because there is always a man willing to go on a date. Unsuccessful unattractive men will be excluded entirely. The disparity will be made up by people at the top of the dating pool dating multiple people at the same time.

    My theory proves out why the majority of successful politicians and business people are men and also why there are generally more physically attractive females than men. Men spend more effort achieving status and women concentrate on looking good.

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