3 Secrets To Keep Him Coming Back For More

Written by Christian Carter |  3 Comments

What if you could date without the worry or fear of rejection?

What if you were the one deciding if there would be a second date… instead of having a great time and then wondering if the guy was ever going to call again?

What if you suddenly found that YOU were calling the shots, instead of waiting on a man?

Right now I’m going to show you where most women go wrong with men on dates… and what to do about it.

Keep reading to learn how to experience the kind of CERTAINTY and CONFIDENCE most women think only a few lucky or “super-model type” women get to enjoy.

Wouldn’t it be great to know for sure that you could keep a man coming back for more after every date if you were interested in him?

Good, then let’s get started…

Tell me if this has ever happened to you…

You meet a man and you hit it off.

You have unbelievable chemistry, as well as that magical “connection” you just can’t explain.

He’s funny, sexy, successful, and sure of himself.

He’s the “real deal”.

You go out on a first date… and everything seems PERFECT.

You laugh, the conversation flows freely… and at the end of the night you share a passionate goodnight kiss.

As he pulls away from you to leave, he’s looking at you straight in the eyes and he says, “I’ll call you.”

You can’t wait to hear from him and see him again.

When you get home, you’re fantasizing about him and enjoying the moments you just shared in your mind.

You can’t wait to connect with him again, and you feel the urge to talk to him and be close to him again already.

So you’re about to call him, but then you stop and ask yourself?

“Is it weird if I call or email him to let him know what a great time I had… and that I’m thinking of him? Or should I wait to hear from him?”

Your mind races… but you decide to wait ? you don’t want to seem to anxious or into him too soon, or mess things up.

But then those little voices start in your head about what might happen, how he feels, and what he’s thinking?

And you start to wonder… is he really going to call?

And when?

Is he really interested in you, or is this going to just be another disappointment.

Your mind starts filling with all kinds of thoughts about him and what might happen as a day or so passes.

Your heart jumps with anticipation every time the phone rings.

You check your caller I.D. and email every ten minutes.

You can’t stop thinking, “why hasn’t he called me!?”

As one day of waiting turns into a couple of days? you realize, with a sinking feeling, that he isn’t going to call.

What happened from the time you shared your kiss and he said “I’ll call you tomorrow” until now?

Was he lying?

Did he not feel what you felt?

Or was it something else?

Did he not call because of something about YOU?

Let’s talk about what’s going on here? and what you need to do about it for a more successful single life or relationship when it comes to men.

The truth is, there are literally 100 million different reasons a man might not call a woman back.

But THE ONLY REASON that actually matters is the reason that has to do with what YOU DID.

In other words? you can’t control the rest of the world when it comes to men and dating.

You can’t control what men think, how they think, or what they choose to do.

But you can control what YOU DO.

Here’s the point to this?

If you know the right way to be around a man on a first date, or into a committed relationship? then you’re no longer going to have to play the neurotic mental “guessing game” of trying to figure out what’s going to happen, and why he’s acting the way he is.

Instead, you’ll get to literally AVOID the stressful, unsure, anxious situations TONS of other women struggle with their entire lives.

And you’ll KNOW how to get a guy to call back because he’s wanting to be with you.

On the other hand…

If you DON’T KNOW how to be with a man, and how to make him feel an intense level of ATTRACTION when he’s with you…then you’re going to have to experience these same disappointments with men over and over… and keep wondering what it is you’re doing wrong.

Don’t get stuck there in your life.

The road to change is in creating a shift in the way you think… and therefore in the way you approach men, dating, and relationships.

Let’s start moving you down that road by asking an important question…

If you’ve ever had a dating situation like the one I described above… what was it that the man was picking up on or “reading” about you that made him not call you again?

Here’s the deal…

During the course of a date, the way you talk, the way you move and hold your body, and the way that you think and talk about yourself leads a man to very clear conclusions about who you are.

If you do some things early on that signal “danger” to him,then he’s going to very quickly make up his mind about not wanting to spend his time with you.

And once he has his mind made up… it’s almost like concrete drying. The way he thinks about you, and the way he FEELS when he’s around you is basically set in stone.

I know this doesn’t sound “nice” or fair… but it’s the way our minds work.

The good news here is that if you do just a few important things RIGHT from the get go… anything that might go wrong will become an unimportant detail.

Translation: If you get the few key “elements” down of what makes a man respond in a positive way to a woman both physically and EMOTIONALLY… then almost no amount of “negative” stuff that would turn him off otherwise is going to change the way he feels about you.

The flip side of this is… if you do a few of the critical things WRONG from the start with a man… then almost no amount of “positive” experiences, making up for it, or trying to do nice things and getting him to like you will help.

He just won’t “feel it” for you… and he won’t want to be with you.

If you’re ready to learn how to avoid these critical mistakes most women make early on that virtually guarantee a man won’t feel a deeper level of ATTRACTION for them…

Ok, now I’m going to share 3 secrets with you that are sure to make the man in your life, or a man you go out on a date with, think about you all the time and want to be with you.

Let me ask you… have you ever stopped to think about how a man approaches dating with a woman?

I mean, really stopped and thought about it and put yourself inside his head?

One of the first obvious things that stands out about men around dating is how they like to “keep it light”.

But let me put it this way…

Have you ever met a man who wanted to know your intentions for a relationship on your first date… because he didn’t want to wake up five years later in another dead end relationship that didn’t fulfill him emotionally?

Have you ever dated a man who was so emotional on a first date that he had to apologize for telling you too much about his ex? It’s just that he felt so comfortable with you…

Or have you ever had a man drink too much on a first date and start putting down other men around you who were good looking?

“Look at him… What a slut.”

Or… “I bet his pecks are fake.”

I know this sounds ridiculous because men don’t talk this way about other men, but you get the point.

These are the typical mistakes women make on first dates.

And they are all “danger” signs for a man.

Now, maybe you haven’t made these particular mistakes, but I’m willing to bet you have had a few special ones of your own.

And when you made them, odds are you didn’t even realize you were making a mistake in the first place… and that what you were doing was being picked up on a man’s finely tuned “escape!” radar.

The more you can understand how a man thinks, and why he feels interested and attracted to one woman and not another… then the better off you’re going to be.

Have you ever had a friend who just couldn’t miss with a guy?

It was almost like no matter what, she had a flock of men after her, and could pick and choose from all the greatest guys around?

She could even do or say things that if other women did them, the man would be sure to leave.

The weirdest part about women like this is that they are rarely “nicer” or “prettier” than you ? but they always seem to be able to get what they want.

So what do women like this have that other women don’t?

Below are 6 of the most important traits that make women effortlessly ATTRACTIVE and IRRESISTIBLE to a man…to where men can’t stop thinking about them.

As you read these, try and picture a woman you know who has an easy time with men and dating ? and how these 6 traits relate to her.

And then take each one and see how it relates to you and the way you think, feel, and interact with men.

Here they are:

1) Confidence & Status

I’ll explain this by showing you how it works in men, since it’s a little complex to understand at first…

Have you ever been out with a man and he was warm, smart, successful, and even handsome?

But the more you talked, the more started to realize that there was this part of him that was a little too “nice”,and a little too accommodating?

Each time a question came up like “Where should we go?”… or “What should we order?”… he’d kind of shy away and say something like, “Ummm, I don’t know really. What do YOU want?”… and he’d wait to see how you were going to react or respond before doing anything.

He couldn’t have been a sweeter guy. The kind of guy you know for sure would be a loyal, loving companion.

But you just couldn’t bring yourself to FEEL ATTRACTED to him. There was something about him that was constantly seeking your approval and wanted you to like him and accept him just a little too much.

And ultimately, this completely turned you off… even though you knew a “nice” guy would be the best thing for you.

You almost felt sorry for him as he tried passively to give you a kiss at the end of your date. But there was nothing there for you inside with him.

Like always, he went home frustrated and upset that you didn’t like him after all the nice things he did and said for you… and he became further convinced that women just don’t like guys who are thoughtful and generous and polite.

But what’s REALLY going on here?

Do women not like men who are thoughtful and polite?

Of course not.

Women don’t feel attracted to men BECAUSE a man is thoughtful and polite.

Women feel attracted to a man because he has a certain confidence and well-being about him. An “energy”. And something in the way he carries himself and interacts with the world.

And if a man is thoughtful and polite on top of this, it’s a fantastic “bonus” quality about him.

So how does all this work? And apply to you?

At the root of all of this is the level of confidence and personal “status” a man or a woman holds for themselves.

Women have a similar kind of “internal status” that they carry.And a woman’s beliefs about herself and about how men see her, make up the level of “status” she projects.

And it’s all this that speaks LOUD AND CLEAR to a man in every word a woman says. Even when she doesn’t know it.

If the way you think and feel about yourself says “low status” to men… then odds are men aren’t going to get that strong gut-level FEELING and ATTRACTION when they’re around you ? no matter what you try to do or say.

A man’s just going to think you’re “sweet” or “nice”…and feel kind of sorry for you for trying so hard.

2) Emotional “Fitness” & Control

What do you think men talk and gossip and joke about most when it comes to women and dating?

Women who act “hysterical” and emotionally OUT OF CONTROL.

But why is this such a popular subject for men? (it’s also a negative stereotype)

There are 2 reasons here:

1) Because most men have no idea how to deal with and handle a woman and her most intense emotions.

2) Men literally feel frustrated, irritated, and overwhelmed around intense emotions that don’t seem to have a clear solution, or a way to get resolved… and they want to avoid these situations and feelings as much as humanly possible.

Now… knowing this, how do you think a man will react when he’s on a date with a woman, things are going great, and then she opens up and a flood of intense emotions she’s been wanting to share with someone and get off her chest comes out?

For her, it’s like she’s finally found a real, mature, open man that she feels comfortable with and can talk to.

For him, he’s already getting that uncomfortable feeling that getting closer to this woman will open a flood-gate of intense emotions and “drama” that feel “negative” to him.

Let’s apply this kind of thinking to the dating story I told earlier.

So you’re sitting there waiting for this man to call after your first date… and he doesn’t get back to you very soon.

A few days pass and you’ve been “stewing” on why he hasn’t called, and what it means.

And then he calls… you pick up the phone, and the second he hears your voice he can tell something is just not right.

There’s this subtle resistance in your voice. Like you’re holding something back. It’s intense, and he can sense it… but to him it only means one thing ? “warning, emotional drama ahead”.

And that’s all it takes for him to see you in a way that makes him not want to be around you again.

Now, of course it’s not “wrong” for you to feel what you feel if a guy hasn’t called you.

But if you’re at all concerned with moving past that “casual” early dating stage where you and a man don’t know each other well, and it’s easy for you to misunderstand each other… then you’ll need to learn how to use your emotions to CONNECT with a man…

Instead of driving him away.

I think of this as what I call “emotional fitness” ? being in the right emotional shape so that it’s easy for you to have a real, healthy, natural, honest relationship with a man.

If you often times find yourself driving men away with the emotions, thoughts, and feelings you have… and you wish you knew of a way to help “center” yourself and get more of a handle on the way you respond with a man…

3) Never “Sacrificing Yourself” For A Man Or A Relationship

Have you ever been in a relationship that was so consuming that you sacrificed some of your interests and passions?

Only to regret it later after things fell apart?

If you’re like lots of women, you swore you wouldn’t
ever “trade” part of your life for a man ever again.

You don’t ever want to feel “small” and unappreciated in that same way ever again.

But of course… you did the same thing with the very next guy.


Because somewhere inside, you trick yourself into thinking that in order to make a man happy and for your relationship to work… you have to be the one to make the things work, since he’s not going to.

But somewhere inside you know better.

You know that sacrificing ultimately isn’t going to end up making you feel the way you want to feel, or living the way you want to live with a man.

Now let’s shift gears for a second…

Remember your friend who is a dating “natural”.

I bet she has a full life with interests and events, and all kinds of people she sees and who want to be around her.

And as a result, the man she’s with is LUCKY if she can fit him in… and he finds the challenge of being with her and getting her attention VERY ATTRACTIVE.

She’s her own person… and she isn’t waiting for a man to help her live a great life on any level.

When she’s with a man… she doesn’t stop living the life she knows fulfills her and makes her happy, loving, and DESIRABLE to a man.

If you’d like to learn how a man really and truly thinks when he’s on a date… and how to communicate and connect with him on a deep emotional level… then I strongly suggest you check out my latest CD/DVD program “Communication Secrets For A Secure Relationship”.

In this program, I not only show you how and why men react and respond to you when you share your true feelings and emotions… but I show you exactly how to get him to truly LISTEN and RESPOND to you in a positive and supportive way.

Most women never learn how and why the men that they date close off and shut them out when it comes time to connect on a real emotional level.

Don’t continue the frustrating cycle in your life with men of trying to share your thoughts and feelings… only to end up frustrated and upset that he withdraws and stops wanting to communicate with you at all.

I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

Categories : Keeping Men Around

Christian Carter is a leading advisor to women on dating, relationships, connection and love. An expert in psychology, communication and behavior, Christian Carter has developed foundational concepts that help women understand men, dating and relationships. Visit Christian's official website, by clicking here.


  1. dorothy miller says:

    want to keep my man comming back

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  2. Yeilyn says:

    Amazing! great =D thanks a lot
    Now i know what to do with my bf ^^

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  3. phod says:

    Was there no editor for this article? It rambles like crazy.

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